Self-love and self-care are a few topics that are hyped a lot these days. The hype is 100% deserving because these topics need to be taken seriously. But my problem with the generalized media out there is that these topics are not communicated with depth. The shallow conversations around these topics scare me. That is because these shallow conversations reduce the importance of such topics. In today’s blog post, I want to share some self-love tips and strategies.
Self-love is way deeper than ‘treat yourself’, ‘take some time off’ and ‘do things you love’. These things are just a tiny part of self-love. If you want some self-love practices that are also deep, then this is the right place for you.
Let me share the 3 stages of self love and some practical self-love tips that will help you notice a real difference in your life.
1. Know your true self
‘Know thyself’ is a cliche phrase, but it cannot be any far from the truth. Before you love yourself, it is crucial that you know yourself well. Knowing yourself does not mean knowing your favourite food or color. It means knowing your personality, experiences, reactions, behaviours, triggers and all the other more important stuff.
Self-discovery is the key to self-love. Understand why you behave the way that you do, why you like the things that you like. Once you get in touch with yourself, self-love becomes way more easier.
Here are some tips to know your true-self?
- Use self-discovery journaling prompts
- Meditate on these journaling prompts
- Go through different self discovery exercises
- Take a personality test
You can enroll in my FREE 5 days of Self-Discovery email course to start understanding yourself better. Enroll now by clicking here.
2. Embrace your flaws
Knowing yourself sounds like a very seamless process, but in my experience, it can be very messy. You discover things that you do not like about yourself. And that can turn out to be a difficult experience for your self-love journey.
For most people on the face of this earth, self-criticism comes easily. Subconsciously you may be calling yourself names such as ‘ugly, stupid, crazy, high tempered, selfish, undeserving, etc.’ And trust me – that is absolutely normal. You are your worst critic and that can be very difficult. But that does not mean that you need to be defined by only that.
I am not going to tell you that you are perfect (because you will not believe me). I am going to accept the fact that we are all flawed human beings. Just saying ‘I am perfect on the outside’ and secretly hating myself on the inside is not my way of expressing self-love.
Self-love is not about calling yourself perfect. Self-love is about accepting your flawed self!
If you want to get deeper into how to embrace your flaws and start your journey towards self-love, then read this blog post. You can grab this Embrace your flaws workbook to start implementing these tips!
3. Reject unhealthy expectations
In the first 2 steps, you have done all the work you need with yourself. That was the inside job. But you will also have to do some outside work, with your social life to make sure you are indulging in self-love the right way.
Women are wired to give and sacrifice. That is exactly why we see so many women giving in to other people’s expectations and living their lives around it. Earlier we did it with just our husbands and children, now we have to do it with our co-workers, friends and people on our social media accounts.
You will often find yourself working on the weekends because your boss expects it, charging less fees because your clients expect it or cooking 1000 courses for dinner parties because your friends expect you to do so. These expectations can be fulfilled some times, but not every time. That is exactly why you need to distance yourself from such unhealthy expectations. You need to speak-up for yourself and set the right boundaries. You need to choose your well-being first!
Practical Self-Love Activities
- Recite affirmations to yourself every single day as a part of your morning routine. That helps you stay in that zone for the rest of your day.
- Detox your social media of all the people that make you feel bad about yourself.
- Celebrate yourself when you achieve milestones. Let this celebration be more than just a party. Take time to reflect on the efforts you put in, the good and the bad things that brought you to this point.
- Say NO! Maintain healthy boundaries with people. Stop worrying about what they will think and start taking into consideration how it will affect you.
- Talk to your friends and family (people that actually care about you) when you start doubting yourself or criticizing yourself.
- Accept help or ask for help when you need without hesitation. You do not have to be perfect and know everything. Let that ego off!
Share your favorite tips on practicing self love in the comments below!