Everyone is familiar with terms such as physical abuse, domestic abuse and even emotional abuse. You must be wondering what is self-abuse? I will exactly tell you what self-abuse is and you can check if you are a victim to this by checking for these 5 signs.
What is Self-Abuse?
Self-abuse is talking bitterly to yourself and portraying yourself as an incapable person. This generally arises when you do not believe in yourself. Check out this self-analysis workbook understand your own patterns and motivate you in self-improvement.
Have you ever said to yourself things such as “I am incapable of achieving great heights” or “I am ugly” or even “I am not worthy of being loved”? These are classic examples of self-abuse. I myself have been guilty of self-abuse in the past. I know many people who are still caught up in this trap.
How does self-abuse affect one’s life?
Self-abuse can bring various problems in life. With this situation in life, success seems far-fetched. There are high chances of one going to depressive state. Even when self-abuse is at minimum, it can negatively affect your life. Feeling of happiness, satisfaction and bliss are eliminated from our lives and stress, anxiety and loneliness take their place.
To avoid self-abuse, you need to first know its symptoms. Realization is the key to development. Unless you don’t realize you are a victim to this state, you cannot help yourself. So here are the 5 signs that will help you identify your state.
1. You do not let yourself take chances.
When opportunity knocks your door, you chicken out. Being afraid or nervous is natural and happens to every one of us. But if you do not let yourself take new opportunities, you do not take chances, it means you do not believe in yourself.
For example, you have decided to stay single after your last breakup. But you have come in touch with an amazing person who just connects with you. You do not let yourself take a chance with this guy, you tell yourself that you will mess things up. This is self-abuse.
These situations also come up in your work-life. You are not satisfied with your current job so you want to learn a new subject and shift the path of your career for a long time. But you do not believe that you will find a new job, you do not feel that you have the potential to live your life on your own terms. This is mild level of self-abuse and it can increase with time. How to believe in yourself? Will help you overcome this problem.
2. You are always complaining
Nobody’s life is perfect and nobody has it all together. But yet, people manage to look at the bright side and hustle through the dark side. But if you are a victim to self-abuse, you will find yourself always complaining. You will tend to complain about everything from your job to your personal life to your health.
Nobody likes a constantly complaining person and that results in people walking away from you. This will naturally lead to more complaining. Now I am not asking you to keep your problems to yourself. Yes, sharing is important and you should totally do it. But you need to appreciate what you have as well. Bringing positivity to your life will help you overcome this. Check out Practicing Positivity to help develop a positive mind-set in real time.
3. You find comfort in sympathy
This one is a derivative of the 2nd one. You tend to feel comforted and happy when people sympathize with you. When people share their problems, some expect solutions, some just want the other to listen and some want sympathy. If you identify yourself in the third category, it means you are victim to self-abuse.
For example, you are drowning in debt and you tell this to your friend. If responses such as “That is so sad, how are you going to get out from this” or “You are in such a difficult position, I can’t imagine what you are going through” make you feel comforted, it is a strong sign.
The best way to overcome this is believing in yourself and practicing positivity. You need to make a major shift in your life and that will help you get out of the rut.
4. You hate spending time alone
Self-abuse is the twin of self-hate. Do you like spending tie with someone you hate? No Way, right? This is what happens when you hate yourself. You don’t like spending time with yourself. You cannot have peaceful and harmonious relationship with yourself.
Do you listen to music when you sleep because you don’t like your thoughts? When left alone with nothing to do, you feel anxious? When you are alone do you avoid thinking about your own life? If the answer to any of these questions is positive, you are in practice of self-abuse.
You can turn this around with self-love and self-care routines. Use this self-analysis workbook and find out your qualities. Tell yourself what is good in you and pamper yourself. Have conversations with yourself that you have avoided for so long. This will free you from self-hate and self-abuse at the same time.
5. You always play the underdog
This is the most common trait in most of self-abuse victims. They play the underdog or victim in every situation. When the team loses, they come up with reasons to portray themselves as victims. When they fail at something, they use their past for the cover-up.
These people make it sound like every single bad thing has happened only to them and they are incapable of good performance. These people make a show of misery to find their way out. Even if they get out of these situations, they always feel guilty and stressed. This is what self-abuse is all about.
If you want to get out of such nature, start taking responsibility, start believing in yourself and most importantly stop giving excuses.
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