We all want to be heard and considered. This basic expectation can be from anyone such as your partner, boss, sibling or even friends. Some people have natural skills to convince people and some people struggle being considered. It is not the end of hope for all such people. You can convince anyone without having the natural skills. Maybe, you might want to convince your boss to implement your idea or convince your partner to go to a specific holiday destination. This is possible even if you are not so smooth and smart at talking people into it.
First thing you need to understand is what you do wrong. The only thing that keeps you away from convincing other people is the wrong approach. A wrong approach can take the situations against you. People react in two ways while convincing others:
1. They become too aggressive on their point.
2. They ramble about anything and everything except the main point.
So, type 1 people end up arguing and mess up the situation. And type 2 people lose confidence and give up. This is what you need to avoid. Regardless of which type you belong to these guidelines will help you to change your approach altogether.
This is a preparatory step which will set the foundation of your approach. Even before you get into conversation, you need to prepare yourself. Find out all the facts related to the topic. All the facts that support as well as contradict your point are important. Also be prepared for counter argument by knowing the facts of other side. You want someone to accept your proposal? Give them reasons to do so.
For e.g. You want to convince your spouse to buy a new Oven instead of a TV. So find out facts such as electricity consumption, personal usage or benefits.
This will sound crazy, but you have to first listen to what they say with an open mind. Let them put their point before you do. This will work in two ways. Firstly, they feel respected as you listen to them openly. This will set a good tone for your complete conversation. Secondly, you become aware of what they have to say. This way you can frame your points smartly.
For e.g. You are selling a product door to door. Understand why the client does not need your product. Then you can decide what to say that will convince him and what will be a waste of time.
After you have listen to the other person it is important to agree with what he says. You don’t have to give in, that is not what I am saying. You can say something like “What you are saying sounds reasonable” or “You have some valid points.” Don’t give in to what they are saying but do not even contradict it bluntly. The hack here is, by agreeing to what they say, you win their attention!
It’s finally time for you to talk. But remember, do not give out a decision by saying “What you said is valid but let’s do what I am saying.” This will create an argument and all your efforts will go in vain. Instead place your opinion with a base of all the facts that you have collected.
For e.g. You want to go to Paris trip and your spouse wants to go to London. You can say “London sounds so exciting but Paris is also a good option. I have checked and the flight tickets are comparatively cheaper. It could save us some money for shopping.”
This approach will make you look like a considerate, understanding but opinionated and well informed person. Your personality comes out to be a sweet combination of soft and strong. Following these steps will ensure your opinion is actively considered. This approach will not only help you convince people, it will also help you improve your image and relationships.