Each one of us gets into a situation where we have to motivate others. It can be a situation where your friend is depressed or your child is off track or your subordinate is under-performing. In such situations you become in charge of providing them with motivation.
I have observed that, people motivate others in a wrong way even though their intentions are harmless. It might get them to work, but it is not good for their mental health. In this research, I found out that there are two types of motivation that I like to call:
· Negative Motivation
· Positive Motivation
It is crucial to choose the right type of motivation so as to ensure mental well-being of the other person. Our intentions are always right, but our fault is that we are unaware. Let us create that awareness and make sure we motivate our loved ones with the right method.
Motivation that comes from a negative emotion is called negative motivation. Sounds complicated but actually is quite easy to understand. Tell me something, what do you do when your child comes up to you and says he doesn’t want to study? You generally say “If you don’t study, you will end up a failure.” Now this creates a negative emotion which is ‘fear’. Fear of failure motivates him but does no good for his mental health.
Giving sympathy is another negative emotion that can harm the other person. Saying things such as “Don’t worry everything will be fine!” These words are suitable for someone who is not as close. But for the people that are close to you it may sound distant and uninterested. So make sure you give them a ‘long hug’ and not a ‘sympathetic pat.’ Know how to do this in positive motivation.
We are all aware about the negative and positive thoughts. But we often forget these concepts when we talk to others. If your subordinate is not working well, avoid saying “If you do not work well, I will fire you.” These negative emotions might get the person working but the efficiency or quality of work will always be hampered.
It is well understood that positive motivation is opposite to that of negative motivation. But in positive motivation, I want to go further and talk about implied fear. Even if you say “If youstudy, you will succeed.” This still carries implied fear that if I don’t study I will fail. So this works better than negative motivation but isn’t up to the mark.
Motivation that comes from higher energy levels is Positive motivation. So how do we create these higher energy levels? Firstly, do not talk result oriented. If your friend is upset about her breakup, do not tell her “If you cheer up and go out, you will meet the person of your dreams.” This is not positive motivation. It is better than negative but not positive. Instead of saying that, you could say “Now that you are single, you can give time to yourself and work on yourself.”
Make the person feel energetic about the things they need to do. You could say to your child “You are getting chance to learn something new. We will apply what you learn in real life situations.” This way he gets excited about learning.
Now these were just some examples but it will work in any situation. Maybe the approach will change but the concepts always remain same. So make sure you are using the right method of motivation. This will keep the other person motivated and enthusiastic and not frightful! Share your experiences with motivating others and what worked for you!